You can only paint on paper for so long...

Fischer has been doing a lot of painting around here the past few days. FYI - I hate paint. I wonder why... But, because I am trying to be a good mom and let him experiment with his artistic side... we've been painting. The first few times, he seemed more interested in color mixing and paint stirring than the actual end product... which gave him lots of grayish masterpieces. Today he decided that painting his nose and his hands would help his inner Van Gogh escape... So I embraced it, stripped him down and let him go at it (in the tub of course)!

Little did I know that he'd paint inside his ears and up his nose!

Fischy Photos

I can't believe he is three already!!!!

Self Esteem... Pass it On

(Reward at the bottom of the post)

Self esteem. What does that phrase mean to you? For me, I think of all that encompasses me and how I feel about me. There are definitely things about myself that I am proud of or content with, my appearance is not one of them... specifically my weight. I have major issues with my body that do affect my life and my activities.

I've started wondering how these issues and feelings about myself are going to affect my daughter (when she arrives). What will she learn from looking at me and listening to me? Will she learn to nit pick her every imperfection? Will she learn to say mean things to herself? Will she learn that her appearance makes a difference in what she can do and accomplish? Will she learn that her appearance is of the utmost importance over all of her other qualities? Man, I sure hope not. Of course I won't come right out and teach her these things, but will she derive these "lessons" from my actions?

Now is the time for me to raise my own self-esteem and get myself in check. I want to empower my daughter to be and do anything she wants to. I want her to see beauty in all things and all people including herself. I want healthy habits to be a part of life, not just something you do to "fix" a problem.

What if I do a good job with all of that teaching and empowering, and then she goes to school and gets another message from her peers... or from the media... or a relative... or the list goes on. How will I talk to her? Will she believe me when I say she is beautiful? Or will she think that I am just her mom and I have to say those things?

We all know that low self-esteem affects so much more than what you say to yourself in the mirror. It affects schoolwork, it affects the types of friends you choose or put up with, it affects the risks you take (good and bad), it affects your self worth which in turns gives yourself permission to do certain things... things a mother doesn't want to imagine.

What can I do to help my daughter cope with adolescence and the pressures she'll experience everyday?

The Dove campaign for Real Beauty has recently launched a new initiative called "Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, commissioned by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund ".

"Too many girls and young women develop low self-esteem from hang-ups about
looks and consequently fail to reach their full potential in later life. The
Dove Self-Esteem Fund (DSEF) was established as an agent of change to inspire
and educate girls and young women about a wider definition of beauty. The
DSEF is committed to help girls build positive self-esteem and a healthy body
image, with a goal of reaching 5 million girls globally by 2010. It has
already reached 2 million young women."

They are targeting girls ages 8-17 and their mothers to help build/repair/maintain self esteem. The exciting thing is that they provide FREE materials for mothers and daughters to begin talking and working on self -esteem. They have a mother's guide and a mother/daughter activity guide to help you facilitate conversations and about beauty, body, pressures, self-esteem, and self confidence. The guides have questions and activities to help us build an open-relationship with our daughters and to remind us how our own self-esteem and hang-ups affect our girls.

"A mom is one of the most important influences in the life of a daughter. Whether you are a step mom, an auntie, a grandmother, a big sister or just a loving friend, the role of a ‘mother’ is important and necessary in a girl’s development.
Your love and care sets the foundations for your daughter’s life. Who you are will profoundly affect who she is and who she will be. How you feel about yourself, your looks, your body, your beauty, acts like a script from which your daughter will make choices about how she should feel about herself. In order to give your daughter the strength and courage she needs to feel beautiful in a world that may challenge her values, you need to take inventory of your own feelings of beauty."
-Dr. Susie Orbach and Dr. Nancy Etcoff (Dove's Academic Advisors)

(My mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and great-great-grandmother )

I read through the materials and found them to be informative, thought-provoking and interesting. They also provide an entire FREE workshop kit with DVD/CD to teach you how to run a self-esteem workshop in your area. Dove is also on the road providing workshops in many different states, you can check their map and schedule to see if there will be one in your area soon.

Self-esteem is an important issue, and I am very thankful to Dove for their initiative and for providing FREE tools to all of us. Click on any of the green links above to read more about the campaign, the National Report, and the booklets and activity guides (under self-esteem tools). You can also find short videos and other resources for you, your daughter, or your workshop.

We can support Dove and their Real Beauty and Real Girls Real Pressures programs by buying Dove products and by helping them to spread the word. In an effort to do my part. I'm offering up a small challenge and reward. Please post about self-esteem on your blog and reference Dove's FREE Self-Esteem tools, then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comments of this post. If you do not have a blog, then just leave a comment here about your thoughts on the subject of beauty and self-esteem. I will award 2 winners (chosen at random) and will send you a gift from Dove. Leave your comment or post link by midnight March 29th. Thank you in advance for your support.

Updates

Post updates...

• The founder of Drop in and Decorate Inc., Lydia Walshin, saw my post and posted about our event on the Drop in and Decorate site. Which reminds me that Emily and I had a fun idea when we were dropping off the cookies at the shelter, you can read about it on the Drop site. I also noticed that Lydia recently posted a much needed tip about how to make perfectly red icing... all of ours turned out different shades of pink... even using and entire container of Wilton red food coloring.
• After my massage, I was hoping that all of my neck-shoulder-arm pain and numbness would be gone. AND it was for a few hours, till it came back in the middle of the night with a vengeance. I even woke up with it accompanied by a rip roaring headache and ALL of those fabulous feelings lasted the entire day Thursday. HOWEVER, I haven't had it nearly as bad since, so maybe it DID work.
• Answers to my cake decorating questions: First, to frost the crumb sides of a cut cake, it worked out nicely to freeze the cake, brush away the crumbs and put a thin layer of frosting (a crumb coat) on and then freeze it again. Then I frosted it with a wide frosting knife and was able to get a "smooth" finish (OK, mine wasn't that smooth, but it wasn't crumby). Second, the mini cupcake papers worked out just fine for removing the mini cupcakes nicely. Third, the Lego candies were chewable, about the consistency of Sweet tarts, and they Do stack for building. Finally, the Lego Fruit Snacks are no longer available in stores nor online.
• Bedtime is an absolute miracle (knock on wood). The new rules and routine are working great... he falls asleep within minutes of me leaving the room, sometimes within seconds! I'm not kidding! He didn't even get thrown off with daylight savings.
• Still working on the mealtime problems.

Saving the World through Music

"Stand by Me" performed by musicians around the world.

The Playing For Change Foundation is saving the world by connecting the world through music. The Foundation provides resources and builds music schools around the world to help artists share their gifts with their community. You can support them by spreading the word about them, purchasing their CDs, DVDs, merchandise, downloading their songs on Itunes or attending one of their concerts. Poke around on their website to find out a little more about them.

Super Fabulous Day for ME

I'm off to bed... early... but not before I tell you a tiny bit about my super fabulous day alone...

First BFF and her amazing Mommy came to pick up Fischer and take him to playgroup and keep him all day long to play. Then I scooted off to have the most wonderful massage. It was an hour of heaven... and I hope that all of that rubbing and lotioning will make it so my arms do not go numb tonight, as they have been for the past few weeks. If that is the case... then I might just be in love with the girl who gave me my massage.
Next I took in another hour of pampering as I received a very fine pedicure with more massaging of my legs and feet. I came away with pretty toes... it had been awhile!
Then I lounged for a while at a favorite little cafe and had my favorite lunch and a very delicious big cookie!
Next... oh yes, there is more... I spent the next two and half hours getting my hair cut and highlighted while chatting with my friend who is a very talented stylist. So of course, I look fabulous! OH, and she waxed and dyed my eyebrows... that was new for me... I can't say that part was particularly fabulous, but the outcome was nice.
And finally I picked up my happy tired little boy from his day o' play and headed home to my loving husband for some tasty pancakes.
I am so very grateful and so very blessed. Seriously... BEST DAY... I never do things like this, it had been a year since I last got my haircut and ten months since my last pedicure and I've NEVER had a massage (except that one weird time but that was a strange and humiliating experience years ago). Sooo, I feel sooo good! Thanks to my Mom and Andy and to BFF's Mommy for making my fabulous day possible! Now, to do it all again in another 31 years...
Thanks for letting me brag... ;) And no, it wasn't even my birthday... it was no special day at all... which made it that much more special!

Fischer is THREE!

Well, my little baby is THREE now! He is so BIG! He had a great birthday and two parties! He started off birthday morning by telling me that all he'd like to do is stay home, play toys and jump on the bed. "Nothin' else". No amount of prodding would get him to go to a restaurant or play place... he wanted to spend his day at home! So we did. Then that afternoon when Andy came home, he opened his present from us (the space shuttle and rockets that he wanted and of course a bunch of books on space!). Then we went to Grandma Betsy's (my MIL) house to have a family party with Fischer's other grandparents (my parents) and his great-grandmother (Andy's Grandma) and his Uncle David (Andy's bro). He got lots and lots of great presents there, and Betsy had made him the specific feen (green) cake with a feen _uck on top (green truck - you fill in the other F), he loved it! She let him cut it and do whatever he wanted with it... the rest of us had pie.

That night, after talking to His Granddad (Andy's dad) and his Aunt Jana and Uncle Matt (My SIL nad Bro) on the phone, he fell fast asleep... a very happy boy!

The next morning was the Lego Mania Birthday Party with all of his friends. BFF arrived first and that sounded like this:

Fisch: Hi BFF!

BFF: Hi ya GOOFBALL!

Then, the rest of the guests started to arrive, I think there ended up being 14 kids in all (5 friends were sick at home). They had a great time playing toys, cars, trains, playing in the tents and ball pit, playing in the backyard (the day turned out beautiful)... and NOT ONE kid even touched a Lego! Go figure! Although, I have to say that I was a bit relieved because I wasn't sure how that was all going to go down. Fischer LOVES his Lego's and seems to find them to be quite the personal item... it is the only real thing that he has had a hard time sharing... I mean he bursts into tears if anyone touches them... and he doesn't do that with anything else. However, I'd been prepping him and I'd bought LOTS more Lego Duplos so that we'd have plenty. But I still wasn't sure because he kept wavering back and forth about whether he liked the idea of sharing. In fact our last exchange sounded like this:

Mommy: Do you think it would be OK if all of your friends came over to play and share your Legos with you on your birthday? Then the kids will go home and NO ONE will take any home with them, they will all still be yours to play with by yourself?

Fischer: I think I might freak out.

So, luckily, we never had to go find out! Anyway the rest of the party went well. The pictures were pretty terrible (no offense, Mom), but my Dad took video, so I'll share that when I can get it from him.
The cake turned out OK.... especially if you don't go back and compare mine with Betty's! I also made about 72 mini-cupcakes and put the little Lego candies on top (which, by the way, turned out to be the consistency of Sweet Tarts). Then I gave the rest of the candies to the kids in little goody bags. Oh... and you CAN actually build with the candies! I don't think you could walk around with your creation, but they do stack if you leave it on the table. Here is a picture of the cake and a bad one with the cupcakes in view. We also had a TON of food, but Andy said that we could probably have just dumped out a giant bag of Cheetos and called it good! That was definitely the fave!

The party turned out great thanks to all of our wonderful friends and family! I was exhausted afterward, but Andy did all of the clean-up... so that was totally fabulous! Thanks, Babe!

What does Fischer LOVE right now... now that he is big and three (for the babybook I'll finish someday):

He loves fire men and fire trucks and wants to be a fireman when he grows up. He loves to play games: board games, card games, ANY games... he even has tried some Wii Fit games. He loves vehicles of all types to play with, read about, or talk about. He LOVES Legos... especially the Duplo size and even calls the little ones with four studs on top, his little buddies. He loves to look at books and be read to. He is very interested in letters and letter sounds and likes to play with them, try to write them, and talk about them. He loves his parents and wants to marry us. He thinks his grandparents are all beautiful, but Mommy is not... apparently my toes are "mostly pretty". He loves his friends and BFF is still his forever favorite, even though she is not always the most kind and cooperative of friends. He has been going to the Little Gym since he was 5 months old, and hates it now because it is an independent class (without Mommy). He is very interested in rockets and space. He loves words like "fabulous", "disgusting", "amazing", "terrible", "annoying", actually", and "realize". He loves to be outside playing with sticks, rocks and dirt. He loves to play hockey with his Daddy. He loves numbers and addition and is constantly quizzing me "what's eight plus eight?". He loves fruit, pasta (especially macaroni and cheese), peanut butter and jelly, bread, carrots, grape tomatoes, pickles and treats... not much else. He is my favorite person in the whole world and I love him to bits and pieces! I am so very blessed and grateful to God for my amazing husband and our supremely fabulous son!

Last day of being TWO

Fisch set up a little scene this morning and asked me to take his picture with his animals and his chocolate milk.

Book of the Day

Fischer is soooo into Goldilocks. He loves me to read the book or just to just tell him the story. He also loves to retell the story to Andy and I. In fact, he loves it so much... that for weeks he was insisting that he wanted Goldilocks shoes for his birthday! When I asked him what they were... he drew me a picture. I wish I would have saved it to show you. Basically two oval squiggles. When I asked him to describe what they looked like he said, "I drew you a picture!"
Ok, silly me. When I asked what color they were (he had drawn them in pencil)... he started to get annoyed with me because they were obviously yellow since he drew them on a yellow steno pad! OK... getting nowhere. So... I said that Goldilocks shoes are girl shoes. Well, he wants them in white, so ... apparently they are now boy shoes. Now what? I searched the Internet, couldn't find a thing! So I did what (I hope) any good mother would do... hoped he would forget about them. AND, he finally has (at least I think he has, I don't dare bring them up again!).
Anyway, our Goldilocks and the Three bears is retold and illustrated by Jan Brett... and true to her form... the pictures are fantastic.... so much great detail. We love it.

Talk to me Tuesday: Cake decorating HELP!

I'm attempting to make these cute little Lego cakes for Fischer's birthday party on Saturday. I found the recipe here on Betty Crocker - it is the best looking of all the Lego cakes I've found so far on the Internet. So, today I took a trial run and - YUCK! The frosting is the problem. After making the sheet cake, you slice it into smaller pieces to create different sized Legos... but that means that you are frosting the crumby sides. I froze the cake and still ended up with a very crumby frosting job.

? - Do you have any tips on how to do this? I've decided to do a white cake, so the crumbs aren't as obvious (I tried chocolate today), and I just used the frosting they recommended from the container... but there has to be a better way. Do I whip it or something? Do you know of a better frosting for this sort of thing? I've been using a butter knife, is that the problem?

I did discover, the marshmallows were easier to frost on top of a fork, rather than the suggested tooth pick ... but still they didn't look nearly as smooth and professional as the picture.

HELP!

?- Also, I'm planning on making mini-cupcakes for the kids with Lego candy on top. Do any of you have any tips on the best way to pry the little suckers from the pan without sticking? I've gotten mixed reviews on whether or not to use the tiny cupcake papers. Is there a spray that's better than another? Have you tried those sprays with flour in them?

?- I ordered the Lego candy online and they haven't arrived yet. Have you ever eaten these? Are they the consistency of Smarties or conversation hearts? Will they be easy for 3 year-olds to chew?

?- I tried to find the Lego fruit snacks that Kelloggs had, but they don't seem to be sold in any of my local grocery stores and I couldn't even find them on the Kelloggs website. I saw them on Amazon, but they are unavailable. It is probably too late to order them now anyway... but if you have seen them in a particular store this week, let me know!

Thank you for ANY advice you can share, I need serious help before Saturday.

Guess what?

Sorry for the racy photo! ;)

Happy Birthday to Andy!!!!!.... three weeks ago

Thank you Mario Lemieux for standing in, yet again, for Andy's picture!

Super Bowl Sunday was Andy's birthday, which is great because it is built-in entertainment for his party! The only thing better would be if his birthday and the Stanley Cup Finals lined up for him each year!

Of course I'd like to take a minute to gush about my one and only love... best husband EVER! Seriously, thank you Andy for being the man that you are, for taking care of and providing for our family and for being the best friend and life-long companion I could dream of. I love you. AND, he's totally hot too!

Anyway, he is not a big fan of being talked about (or pictured) on the blog... so I thought I'd let his own words give you a peek into him. Andy coaches basketball... freshman girls basketball... it is not always easy, seeing as how every year he is basically teaching the girls how to play the game... BUT he makes it so much more. It seems that his goals are: teach them how to play the game, help them to have fun while playing, give them life-long friendships with one another and new found confidence in themselves (this is me talking... this is just what it looks like to me). So after a FUN season of losing... but having fun... he'll be giving them a little gift next week. He had personalized bracelets made for each of them (by his very talented sister) and he typed up a little letter to go with them. I thought you might like to read some of it:

It is said that when asked about sculpting David, Michelangelo stated he was merely liberating the form within by removing the excess rock. By cutting away,he was adding definition to the shape that already existed. If we think about life in a similar way, we find events, opportunities, and hardships can act as a chisel to “chip away” our excess rock to help us learn who we really are. Basketball was one of these opportunities (and sometimes a hardship depending on the day), and I was fortunate enough to watch this process with you. So what did I learn?

I learned you are strong, courageous, and spirited. I saw you rise up to take on formidable challenges, smile after tough defeats, and reach out to embrace your
teammates. Of course I already knew you were smart, funny, and beautiful, but I also saw these qualities grow, each and every day. I learned what an extraordinary person you truly are.

On your bracelet, you will see several pieces of your birthstone. Think of these stones as some of the chips that have been removed throughout the season. Each one represents a step you took toward strengthening one of your qualities. For those who are willing, life is full of opportunities to add definition to your form within.

You will also find a bead with the first letter of your name. I would have put your whole name, but seriously, some of you have long names and it would have ended up a necklace! This bead is to remind you to be proud of who you are. You are an incredible person, and although you might not always feel as such, that is who you are. When you doubt this, just surround yourself with people who already know the truth (or come back to ___ for a visit and some candy) and you should be back to normal in no time!

I have had an incredible time with you this season and thank you for all the time you committed to the team. I am also thankful for you allowing me to get to know you and teach you a little basketball. Nine months ‘till next season!

"It was so easy!"

The other day I was rushing Fischer and I out the door to meet up with friends for a playdate. I had our stuff together, I had him buckled into the car in the garage, I had... lost my keys.... grrr!

I search the car, search my purse, search my coat pocket... nothing. I run back in the house (don't worry the garage door was closed and Fisch was belted in) and scanned the kitchen, the bedroom, the office, the bathroom,... nothing. Back to the car, searching between the seats, dump out my purse... nothing.

Mommy: "Fischer, do you know where my keys are?"
Fischer: "No."
M: "Did you play with Mommy's keys? It is ok if you did, that will just help me to know where they are."
F: "No"

Back in the house, search the junk drawer another bathroom, the floor of the closet, the pants I wore yesterday, check another coat... nothing. Back to the car, search under the seats... nothing. Back in the house, search the toys, call friends and say we may not make it, search the train table, under the couch... weird thought...

Check the fridge... Ah HA!

Back in the car...

M: "Fischer, did you put my keys in the fridge?"
F: silence
M: "Fischer, you have been watching me run around like a crazy person for twenty minutes! Why didn't you just tell me that you put my keys in the fridge?"

F: "It was so easy!"
M: "What? What was so easy?"
F: "You just go in the kitchen, open the fridge and there they are. Easy!"

sigh

Drop in and Decorate

I could have sworn that I had already talked about this last year... but I guess not. I can't find it on the blog anywhere, and I guess since we did it in December and I started this blog in February, I never did post about it. BUT, I would think that I would have since it is about saving the world and all! Geez! Well anyway we did it again... so fun!



Drop in and Decorate is the grand idea of NineCooks' Lydia Walshin, and has spread from idea to a full fledged non-profit organization!

"Drop In & Decorate, Inc., a nonprofit organization based in Rhode Island
and founded by food writer Lydia Walshin, hosts Drop In & Decorate®
cookies-for-donation events and provides financial and technical support to
events hosted by individuals and organizations around the country.

Drop In & Decorate is a simple concept: bake some cookies, invite friends or family
(or neighbors, or co-workers) to stop in and help decorate, then donate your
cookies to a local food pantry, emergency shelter, senior center, lunch program,
or other community agency serving neighbors in need. (Or, sell your cookies at a
bake sale, and donate the proceeds to a community agency.)"

So last year, our little book club got together and baked and decorated over 150 cookies for the families residing in our local homeless shelter at Christmastime.



This year, Emily (my friend) and I rallied together a dozen or so good friends and baked and decorated over 300 cookies! We had so much fun! We were very excited to have enough cookies for all of the families and all of the men who come to sleep at our local shelter.

Everyone donated so much (cookies, time, decorating supplies, packaging supplies, money, and snacks) and together we had a great time providing Valentine cookies for so many people. Thanks everybody!

The week before, five of us got together and cranked out about 9 dozen cookies and put them in Jenny's freezer. The night before, Emily and I made 14 batches of icing and put them into piping bags. We rented out Emily's and BFF Mommy's clubhouse for the actual decorating. That day, from 10 to 2, people dropped in to decorate cookies and all of the little ones played and played! it worked out great. Emily and I came back later that night after the cookies had set, and packaged them all up to be delivered on Valentine's Day (the next morning). We individually bagged and tied 160 for the families and then stacked the rest in big zip locks for the men (we hoped they'd be ok without fancy bags and ties!). Drop in and Decorate is such a fun idea to get friends together to chat, get creative and ultimately benefit someone else. I think next year will have to be our "third annual Drop In".

The Drop in and Decorate website has lots of fun ideas about how to host your own party and also recipes. We used our own recipes, but I think next year, I'll give theirs a try.

I want to give a big thank you to: Emily L, Emily M, Jenny, Brenna. Danae, Lisa M, Chrissy, Amy, Amie, Vicki, Jolie, Katie, and McKayla. You are such fabulous friends!

Disaster Narrowly Averted

It was a little too quiet at my house the other day... I went to investigate... and low and behold my little Curious George was in his room playing with... EGGS!

Talk to me Tuesday... Mealtime

I'm coming to you for ideas.

• Problem: Fischer will NOT stay seated to complete a meal in a timely fashion. He is on and off his seat, playing, talking, etc. Mealtime takes forever, he eats very little, Andy and I get frustrated.
• How we actually caused the problem: We have eaten one too many meals at the coffee table.
• What we've tried: Holding dessert over his head - could care less. Put the high chair back in action - this keeps him in place, but does not ensure that he actually eats.

Obviously, we need to get our family back to the kitchen table, but then what? Any ideas? What works for you? Am I expecting too much?

Garbage Day

Garbage truck in hand, waiting for the Garbage Man. Aw, it's the little things...

Romp to Stomp Out Breast Cancer

Recently a group of friends and I participated in a snowshoe 5k to benefit Susan G Komen for the Cure. My good friend Lauren put our team together in honor of her friend Cari. Cari blogs over at UnDomestic: "Writings of a teachermom, choosing to stay home with her kids, while loathing all domestic responsibilities! In late Aug. 2008, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer. After surgery, chemo and radiation, I was given the all clear. However, in the late summer of 2008, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor, which metastasized to other areas."

Cari has three little kids at home, and after learning of her story and checking out her blog, it was an honor to snowshoe for her. Our team carried fun balloons that said "Team Cari" on them and we had a blast! I actually had my butt kicked by the course... but supposedly it was REALLY easy. Hmmm. AND don't even try to cut me some slack on behalf of being pregnant... because two other of our team members were much further along that I, and they seemed to practically skip to the finish line!

Anyway, thank you Lauren for inviting me to be a part of such a fun experience and important cause!

Bedtime gone wrong

- Bedtime gone wrong: passed out on the couch at 11:00 PM -

I was about to write about what a genius of a parent I am.... but Andy just messed it all up!* Thanks a lot!

We've been having major trouble getting Fischer to go to bed lately (for at least a month). We'll do our routine, kiss him goodnight and then for the next THREE to FOUR hours he'll be in and out of his room for one reason or another OR he'll be talking, singing and playing with his books and toys till his room is completely destroyed AND he is wide awake!

It has been really frustrating, and very very tiring. Not to mention, when he does fall asleep, it is often restless with frequent night wakings and then inevitably, he'll end up sleeping with us. It is getting old.

So, I've tried a myriad of things to help the situation:

I've tried ignoring him and letting him play and play till he falls asleep - but he never falls asleep.

I've tried consequences for getting out of bed or being too noisy - such as: turning his nightlights off, closing his door, taking away toys - all of this just gets him anxious and panicky, and brings on boatloads of tears.

I've tried giving him snacks, reassurance, incentives (like prizes for staying in bed all night) - didn't help.

All we were getting was an over-tired family and a seriously bad habit. The thing that bothered me most was that I'd put him to bed with love, kisses, songs, warm fuzzies, etc. and then end up being angry with him for hours before he finally passed out. Then I'd feel so guilty about it that I'd kind of want to go in and cuddle him, to let him know that I'm not really mad at him (but I didn't because it is not like I'm crazy - after a three to four hour fight I was not about to wake him!).

So, I hope I don't jinx myself by talking about what HAS worked, but here it is:

• First, let me just say that when you are looking for help with toddler sleep, they always talk about consistency... they mention consistent bedtime and consistent bedtime routines. We've always done that.... forever, we've had the same routine and bedtime for him.... so that is one duck we have in a row.


• Second, I have eliminated napping to ensure that he is tired at bedtime.


• Third, I am waking him up at the same time every morning (which totally stinks for me because waking him up is against the very core of my tired being).


• Fourth, NEW RULE: No toys or books in bed. Instead of helping him to wind down, they get his creative juices flowing till his bed is full of sleeping stuffed animals, there is no room for him and he has completely rearranged his room to have every item of clothing and every toy take up residence on the floor. Then, by the way, he wakes up in the middle of the night mad that his room is messy and wants me to clean it! And I do, because I just want him to be quiet and go to sleep!


• Fifth, after our bedtime routine, I sound like a broken record. Anytime he wants something or gets out of bed or asks a question, I calmly repeat "go to bed" or "go to sleep". I do not give him any attention after the goodnight kiss. (I know this sounds harsh, but I'm trying to break the habit of him getting out of bed. Obviously if it was an emergency, I'd respond. I do respond calmly and without emotion if he asks about monsters or something scary "We don't have monsters, the dogs would eat them**. Go to sleep".)


• Finally, I turn off all of the lights that can be seen from his room and make it very quiet, so that it seems that he is not missing out on any grand parties or fun.

I'm also trying very hard to take my own emotion out of the picture. I am ashamed to say it, but I was getting really mad! Then I stepped back and thought, why am I getting mad at a baby? I can be frustrated, I can be consistent, I can deliver consequences, but I don't actually need to feel angry. I think this realization is helping us both.

It has only been a few days, and he isn't "cured" yet.... BUT He is going to sleep much more quickly (within 15-30 minutes), bedtime is much more positive, AND believe it or not, he is sleeping through the night! Yay! Everybody wins!

* So, I said Andy messed it up, because during the critical moments after I've said "Go to sleep" and Fischer has gotten very quiet... Andy walked in to kiss him goodnight! Seriously, this started up the talking and questions and getting out of bed all over again... he added on 15 minutes!

** About monsters, it has worked very well for us and for Fischer to tell him that dogs eat monsters. Therefor you can reason that a monster would never come in our house for fear of being eaten. AND if the monster DID come in, he'd be eaten right away.... so obviously, there is no way we could have a monster in our house. It makes perfect sense to Fischer, although he does like to be reassured of this "fact" periodically. This works MUCH better for him than simply stating "there is no such thing as monsters".

I was talking to a friend recently who suggested that I arm him with something more proactive like having him yell "Go away Monsters", which would give him some control. I thought it was a good idea, so if ever the dogs stop eating the monsters, we'll try that route. Which, incidentally, is a theme we will be needing to address soon with him because he rarely stands up for himself... but that is another story.

What happened to the blog?

So, you know when you were young and you kept a journal and you wrote about everything you did every day? Then you missed a few days or weeks and it seemed too overwhelming to try to catch your journal up? Yeah... it is kind of like that.

Take that Tacoma!

Have you seen this? BFF's mommy sent me this in an email. I've since copied the transcript off of someone else's blog (and she did too) so that you could read it. All I can say is - THANK YOU Carolyn Hax for putting it into words. Usually when someone asks me what I've done today, I say "nothing" which is so very far from the truth, but I feel I can't really explain the importance nor time consuming nature of what I did do.

Tell Me About It by Carolyn Hax
Tucson, Arizona Published: 06.05.2007

● Carolyn:
My best friend has a child. Her: Exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
OK. I've done Internet searches; I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please, no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners. . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them every day. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day, and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail?
I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events), and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy — not a bad thing at all — but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth?
Is this a contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids, and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
— Tacoma, Wash.

● Tacoma:

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand — while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom friends are either lying or competing with you — is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries and questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family members and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting the constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy — and then when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, you wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend — a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends or marvel at how much more productively she uses her time.
Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

~reprinted without permission

Book of the Day

I hate spiders. Andy hates spiders. Fischer is beginning to hate spiders. It is horrible, I know, to transfer such hatred to our children.... oops. ALSO, it is horrible for "gardeners" such as Andy and I to hate one of our best garden allies. It is irrational. With all this hatred swirling around us, why oh why would I get Fischer this book? It was my way of trying to redeem myself and raise a spider lover... or maybe it is just cute and you know how I love books!

Aaaarrgghh! Spider! by Lydia Monks is a fun little tale told from the perspective of a lonely spider. The spider wants so desperately to be a family pet. It does all sorts of fancy tricks to try to catch the attention and admiration of one family... but each time the poor spider ends up scaring the family. You'll have to see if the spider's dream ever comes true... let me just warn you, the last page has seriously given me nightmares!

Anyway, Fisch is liking this book and Andy and I are finding it therapeutic! ;)

Cheers and Jeers

The goings on of late...

• JEERS: The handy man ended up charging us almost FOUR TIMES his original quote without ever updating us along the way to this fact. AND because his original quote was so low, I didn't make a claim to the insurance... and now it is doubtful we'll get anything back. Grrr.
• CHEERS: Fischer's BFF had a fabulous sledding party that we all loved. Andy took Fisch and BFF down the hill a number of times, each time they flew further and further away! Fischer actually preferred "sledding" on his snow pant butt to using an actual sled, though.
• JEERS: We decided that I had jumped the gun on having Fisch sleep in underwear instead of pull-ups. He is not quite ready for that.
• CHEERS: Fischer has told me today that I am "amazing" a "good mommy" and has called me "Mommy Sweetie Pie". Awwww. Everybody needs a guy like him around!
• JEERS: I have felt nauseous every day this week.
• CHEERS: I haven't gained any weight.
• JEERS: My body has expanded and I look WAY more pregnant that I actually am!
• CHEERS: I have been nicer to the dogs...
• JEERS: Kaia still stinks so bad I could vomit!
• JEERS: I thought there was an intruder in my house today... I panicked a bit and got Fisch and I out.
• CHEERS: It seems to have been my imagination!
• JEERS: I am obviously crazy!
• CHEERS: I'm OK with that!
• CHEERS or maybe JEERS: I've been going to bed between 7:15 and 8:15 almost every night lately!
• CHEERS: I think I'm really back to blogging now. I hope I didn't lose you.

Women Friends

This one had me thinking of you.

Ummm.... What to say?

It is 8:20 in the morning, I'm sitting in my nice warm bed listening to Fischer play and sing in the other room. I am desperately trying to think of some fantastic and interesting thing to blog about. You may have noticed that I've lost my blogging momentum. Andy was home for two weeks over the holidays and we enjoyed being lazy and hanging out as a family. I am off routine and am trying to get back together. Somehow, though, after all of that rest and relaxation, I am feeling uninspired to write.

Hmmm...

I could tell you about a few new philanthropic organizations that have recently caught my interest, but it feels like after a long stint of no blogging, I should write about something more personal.

I could tell you about how Kaia is emitting the most horrific smell on a fairly regularly basis and it makes me want to throw up. I've lost all patience with her and am constantly trying to get her to stop following me around... so now she seems depressed and I feel guilty... But talking about dog gas isn't very classy and why would anyone want to read about it?

I could tell you about how the other night when I was giving Fischer a bath, he said "You have good energy, Mom!" But then you'd probably start wondering about what we talk about at our house... Seriously I don't know where he got that.

If I wrote about that then I would start to get on a roll talking about of all of the Fischisms of late. Such as, before Christmas when we were talking about Christmas being Jesus' birthday, and Fischer wanted to bake Him a birthday cake. I said that'd be a good idea, but then he wanted to TAKE it to Him. I tried to explain that Jesus is in our hearts and if we celebrate His birthday and eat His cake, that will make Him happy. Then, after a really long pause.... he gets this worried look and asks me, "How did Jesus get in my tummy?"

But if I told you all of that then I'd have to tell you about the bumbling answer I gave about God creating us and putting a piece of himself into us and while I was talking I realized that to Fischer this might sound like God put His toe inside of him and an His elbow in me and and his eyeball inside Daddy... which sounded scary and then I just kept talking and talking until I felt that I'd been totally clear and insightful... and he had no comment.

OR I could tell you after this long saga of home repairs the work men should be done today. Hopefully the bill will come close to the original quote.

I could tell you that we are in the final stages of potty training, and Fischer has given up the night time pull-up for underwear at night. Which means we made it through with only having to buy one case. It also means that he wakes up twice a night to go potty...and so do we.

I could make a little announcement about being pregnant. That is kind of an exciting thing to talk about but maybe not as exciting of a thing to read about. Plus maybe you already knew. AND I have had the realization that I may not be able to sleep through the night without interruptions for FOUR more years!

So as you can see, I'm at a loss for words today. So I think I won't write about anything, and I'll just get ready for the day and go pick up BFF for a playdate.

Have a great day!

Do we have a winner?

OK today is the 31st, have you exercised? I'm ready to give out the fabulous prize but I need to know if any of you who took the challenge... met the challenge? There were 8 of us. Depending on whether you started on the 1st or 2nd, you should have exercised 31 or 30 consecutive days. Let me know, either here or via email! YOU DESERVE SOME PRAISE and A FABULOUS PRIZE!

"Mommy, don't see me writing!"

I walked upstairs after switching the laundry, to find Fischer standing in the family room with his hand under his shirt...

Fischer: "Don't see me writing, Mommy."
Mommy: "What?"
F: "Don't see me writing."
M: (there is no paper in sight, just a few broken crayons) "Give me the crayon from under your shirt. What did you write on?"
F: "Nothing."
M: "Show me what you wrote on."
F: Points to a toy (of BFF's) with crayon on it.
M: "What else did you write on?"
F: "Nothing."
M: "Show me what you drew on."
F: "You mean give it to you?"
M: "Yes, give me whatever you drew on."
F: "Well... the couch is really heavy!"

Sigh, thank heaven for leather couches and Magic Erasers!

That guy better not come into our house!

Last night (Christmas Eve) we were driving home, late at night from a party, when suddenly after a month of anticipation and admiration for the guy... Fischer decided that he was afraid of Santa Clause and DID NOT want that guy coming into our house while we are asleep. No amount of description of Santa, the chimney, presents under the tree, etc. could change his mind about that. So, luckily, Andy knew Santa's phone number (only Dads know this number) and called him to request that Santa put Fischer's presents on the front porch. Fischer called Grandpa to ask him to tell Santa a to do the same. Sooo, the cookies and milk went onto the porch last night and Fischer found his gifts on the porch this morning! He was so glad!! Although we did have to reassure him a number of times today that Santa NEVER came into our home!

I hope you are all having a lovely day of sugarplums and family. We've already visited with my parents this morning, Andy's family this afternoon, and are headed back to my parents for dinner in a while... So fun. We feel very blessed with good friends, good family, good food and plenty of surprises!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

missing you...

Workmen, drywall, mess, snow, Christmas cards, lost address book, lost cell phone, found cell phone, shopping, wrapping paper, laughing, students, basketball, the Polar Express, elves, road trips, hot chocolate, cold chocolate, exhaustion, candy, cookies, Amish friendship bread, hotels, parks, malls, turkey pepperoni, haircuts, friends, parties, gifts, groceries, cooking, baking, packing, unloading, shoveling, cleaning... OK- not cleaning, phone calls, nausea, fun times, Santa, Go Fish, Crazy 8s, stories, fast food, Subway- 4 days in a row, hockey, sleeping... sound familiar? I've missed you... will return soon. Maybe tomorrow after I climb laundry mountain, or maybe instead of!

Updates and Challenge

So, I am happy to say that today was a very good day. The guys came to fix the pipe, so now we can use our dishwasher, our sink and our washer and dryer. They have to come back on Monday to replace the ceiling and the wall, though. OH, GUESS WHAT? When they removed the drywall from the ceiling they found... a stack of smutty magazines from 1994! Gross. I don't know why anyone would have put them there, there was no way to get to them... so strange. Someone must have stuck them up there when they were finishing the basement. When we moved in a few years ago, that was all said and done. Anyway, gross. I want to put them in someone else's recycling bin!

Fischer and I ran errands and did some shopping today during the snowstorm. It was great to scratch a few things off the big To Do list! The snow is beautiful and has been coming down on and off all day. Fischer's new L-Bow gloves arrived just in time for the fun.

Today Andy and Fisch and I played at least 20 hands of Go Fish (Fisch's first time). He caught on really fast and can certainly hold his own in the game. Although, I was a bit startled to find myself getting competitive! Seriously embarrassing.

Finally, it is time to check in on the December Exercise Challenge. Today is December 13, how many of you are still IN? You should have 12 or 13 days of exercise depending on if you started on the first or second. No skipping. Anyone? I know a few of us are out (including me) but have still been working out past the slip-up. There were a few who joined the challenge too late for the prize, but still wanted to push themselves. So, how are you? I'd love to hear the good and the bad. If you missed a day or a few days, keep going... you are making good healthy habits regardless of the challenge or the prize. By the way, the prize is still totally fabulous and I'd love to give it to one of you. So please chime in.

Lisa and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

It had been building up for awhile.  I was feeling crummy and falling behind on my To Do list (which has about a million no-fun responsibilities along with a hundred fires to put out).  So the night before the bad day, I asked Sheila to pick up Fisch in the morning and keep him for a few hours, so I could catch up.

The next morning... 

• Fischer wakes up too early and won't go back to sleep
• I get over it and start the laundry and clean the kitchen, I turn on the dishwasher
• I hear water falling in the basement
• rush down to find water pouring from the ceiling and all over the washer, dryer, shelves, clean folded laundry pile, and floor in the laundry room
• run back upstairs to find the source
• can't find anything
• run back downstairs to see that it has stopped but there is an enormous mess of water and gunk
• start to cry (I don't know why) and call my dad
• still weepy... call Andy
• while on the phone with Andy Fischer falls off his chair and is screaming bloody murder
• My stress level hits the roof
• Doorbell rings, the dogs start barking and jumping on the furniture (a no no), Fischer is still screaming, I'm falling apart on the phone
• I open the door, yank the dogs into a bedroom, shove a screaming half-naked Fischer at Sheila, go into the office and slam the door (very grown up of me)... still on the phone with Andy who cannot be very helpful because he is an hour away!
• Off the phone, find Sheila in Fisch's room trying to get him dressed, I put on a nice face... as if I'm not falling apart at the seams and go out to the garage to grab his car seat
• I drop it on my toe, which splits open
• Sheila tells me to get out of the house and go sit at Starbucks for a few hours
• She leaves, I call a bunch of fix-it guys who are too busy to come.  I am trying not to let them hear that I am crying
• Did I mention that my hormones are a bit out of whack these days?
• Look at the mess again and realize it has to be a sewage pipe because the "gunk" is actually bits of rotted and disgusting food!  Probably from the dishwasher.
• Finally get a guy to agree to come in a few hours.
• Find chocolate and eat it - feel a tad bit better, complain the entire story on the phone to Wanda
• Feel sick to my stomach, can't accomplish any of my to do list with the water off and the HUGE mess lurking in the basement
• Go to my parents' to go to the bathroom and then get the brilliant idea to randomly, take a bath in their giant jetted tub.  Ahhh, much better.
• Come home, wait for the guy.
• He comes and tells me it is worse case scenario and he will have to rip apart the basement ceiling until he finds the pipe, then we'll have to rip open the wall too because of all the food.
• He can't come till Saturday.  He tells me to clean this up immediately because of the dangerous bacteria, and If I don't he will lecture me when he comes back.
• He leaves and I have to leave immediately to go pick up Fisch and meet Andy to close on our refinance of our house.
• Rush home to start cleaning up the mess before my student comes
• He never shows
• I'm just saying...  yesterday sucked!  Oh and I can't use my dishwasher, my kitchen sink, the washing machine or the dryer... fun times.
• Sooo, how are you?

Book of the Day

Out of the enormous box of holiday books that we have been reading this month, Fischer continuously insists that we read Margie Palatini's Mooseltoe. It is about "Moose" who happens to have an incredible mustache - or rather Moosetache, and his Holiday to do list. This moose is on the ball with holiday shopping, cooking, decorating, card writing the works... but come Christmas eve he and his family discover there has been one Major oversight... he forgot the tree! Anyway, this is Fischer's Christmas book pick this week. I'm hoping that we can start reading more of the others, because while this one is cute, I'm ready for a new story!

Just clicking around: Christmas ideas

As I've been clicking around the Internet I've come across some fun new holiday traditions and Christmas ideas.

• The first ideas was from my good friend Emily (on the phone, not on the net). She told me that she'd heard a new idea that she was going to try and use with her children this year. Everyone gets 4 gifts: Something you want, something you need (like clothes), something to share (like a video or game), and something to read. I thought it was brilliant! It would really make kids think when they are making out their Christmas list. it would also help moms and dads to not go unnecessarily overboard (that's what Grandma is for).
• The Green Phone Booth had some great alternatives to the traditional toys and candy that come in the advent calendar. There were even better ideas in the comments. One mom wrapped up books that her kids already had and they unwrapped one each night to read together... how easy is that? You might also be interested in this thought provoking video.
• Next Liz had a bunch of great ideas that she gleaned from her mother-in-law and Oprah. I really liked the idea of a T-shirt quilt and I loved the idea of giving your family "dates" to be together rather than gifts. Check her out.
• Recycle now has a very fun video tutorial for using fabric to wrap gifts (no tape or bows). So cute and the fabric can then be reused however the recipient likes or you can print out a little tag with a link to how they can turn their fabric wrapping into a cool bag (no sewing)!
• Finally have you checked out the Mother Letter Project? One family is sending Christmas to a village in Africa instead of giving to one another.... but as a special surprise, the husband has secretly and anonymously created this little project. He is asking women to submit a letter (via email or comments) about motherhood for his wife. He is going to make them into a book for her for Christmas. If you submit one, he'll give you all of the letters too! The posted letters are fabulous. people have written letters about their mothering experiences, about or to their own mothers, I saw one written to the unknown birth-mother of one woman's adopted child, some are written to children who have yet to be conceived. Very thoughtful and each letter is quite touching. He has already received over 300 letters! I haven't submitted mine yet, but I will. If you aren't into this... it might inspire you to collect letters for someone in your life... maybe not to this same scale. last year for Andy's birthday, I collected letters from many of our relatives and compiled them in to a leather journal for him. I thought it would be a great keepsake and a reminder to him about all of the people who love him and whom he has had a positive affect on.

Looking for a good read?

Back in September I received a new book to review, James Patterson’s and Hal Friedman’s Against Medical Advice. James Patterson is best known for his best-selling thrillers. But this book is different. This is a true story of co-author Hal’s son Cory. Cory has Tourette Syndrome. The story spans 12 years of Cory’s life with this syndrome. It begins with his first symptoms shortly before his 5th birthday and ends during the high school years, he is 17.

I knew that Tourette Syndrome involved typically to highly intellectual people who experience involuntary movements and verbalizations, but I had no idea that it could possibly cause such an incredible living hell. I was riveted by Cory’s story. It is told with his permission, from his viewpoint, which made it that much more fascinating. I felt as if I was experiencing his life with him.

I could easily picture the shock, humiliation and fear that would accompany being out of control of your own body. At times it was painful to read about the ways his body would contort repeatedly , sometimes injuring him with torn muscles, broken teeth and falls – yet the contortions continued after the injury causing even more pain.

The strength that Cory has to live day to day with Tourettes is incredible and inspiring. It sure makes my own aches and pains seem ridiculous. Cory is strong but of course the syndrome accompanied with OCD and anxiety takes a toll on him. He doesn’t have many friends and the ones he does have are troubled, he becomes deeply depressed and turns to alcohol and cigarettes to help him cope… his life is unimaginable.

What really struck me while reading this book was not only what life would be like with these illnesses, but also the frustrations of the medical assistance. During the 12 years that the book relays, Cory saw many doctors, specialists, hospitals, rehabs, AND was prescribed over sixty medications. Each one was for trial and error with dosages and combinations with others. Each one had its own side effects and added to the unbelievable discomfort that living in his body was.

It really made me think about all of the students that I’ve had who have been on and off a variety of meds and had to endure the effects as dosages are raised and lowered and combined with others. The medical field can offer so much, but with every body being different… the trials have got to be frustrating and sickening.

I would definitely recommend this book. I read it in a day. It was a page turner with short chapters. Cory’s life is fascinating and inspiring. I was also really inspired by his family and the way they have persevered, supported, and advocated for him. A definite good read!

Awww, cute!

4 days in... how are you doing?

Today is day four of the exercise challenge. There are 8 official participants, and not quite as many in the running for the fabulous prize.
How is it going for you? I figured we'll check in once a week over here... I'll post about it and you can let us know how you are doing. If you miss a day, you'll be out of the running for the prize, but just jump right back in and finish out the month with us. No use in quitting ;)

So, as predicted, I have a raging cold and feel like I've been run over by a truck. It is not getting the least bit better, only worse. HOWEVER, I have still exercised every day. Granted my sessions haven't been aerobic (since I can't breathe) BUT I have challenged myself nonetheless, which is WAY more than I would normally do when I am sick. So, I figure that is good.

I'd love to hear what you've done the past 4 days. By commenting about it, we'll inspire each other to keep on sweating!

Anyway, let's cheers to healthy habits!!

A December Exercise Challenge

Last night I announced my personal challenge to exercise 31 days in December. I just wanted to remind you in case you'd like to join. That exercise can be whatever is right for you. You know what would be a good personal challenge for yourself.

So... If you are in, leave a comment below or email me. Then at the end of the month... whoever made it all 31 days will be entered for a fabulous prize. I'll let you know what the prize is later.

No excuses. Today I woke up with nausea, sore throat, runny nose, itchy ears, the works... and I'm still going to run today. Usually when I start a new exercise goal I immediately get sick, or sprain my ankle or the jogging stroller tire is popped... or ... the list goes on. My goal is to not let any setbacks stop me. If I sprain my ankle today, then I will go swimming tomorrow or work on my abs and my upper body. I can do this, and I'll feel so much better too!

By the way, if I can do this, ANYONE can! Whoot whoot! Let's do it!

UPDATE: If you don't get to read this until Tuesday, then your Challenge will be 30 days of exercise in December... and it will still count for the prize. The rest of us will just be one day healthier ;).