Why did I ask?

Me: "Fischer, do you think I'm beautiful?"

Fischer: "When you are wearing earrings, you look beautiful."

Me: "What's the most beautiful thing about me?"

Fischer: "Your earrings. You really should've worn earring's today."

Seriously! Why would I ask such a loaded question?????

Happy Birthday MOM/Grandma!

So, I told you my mom was a rock star.... why you ask? Well, actually she is a self-proclaimed rock star, BECAUSE she has just realized that this year I have come to respect her infinite motherly wisdom! :) Actually, it is true. Somehow, my mom finally seems to know a thing or two about life, motherhood, womanhood, family, marriage, friendship, faith, health, etc. It is so amazing.... she went for years (especially my teen years) where she knew absolutely nothing! Poor thing! So basically she is rocking the advice these days... and I'm listening!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Congratulations on your Rockstardom! You are too fabulous for words, too twisted for color TV, and the most beautiful person I have ever known. I am so glad that you are my

Rock Star Mom!

Mom and me a million years ago.

My itty bitty is SIX weeks old!

Now that I have lost all the readers I ever had... I've finally found a moment to post an update. I am so sorry, but this blog is competing with my sleep. The only times I'm not holding Maddison are the few moments that she sleeps... in which I want to play with Fischer, attempt housework, cook or... at night - SLEEP! Without fail, whenever I go near the computer, Maddie needs me -both of my hands!

I've been wanting to write down everything about Maddie's first month so that I wouldn't forget... but like I said... I've been holding her instead - I guess that could be important too. ;)

Here is our little Maddison at 3 weeks old. Although I was able to get her pictures taken nice an early for her birth announcements, most of the announcements are still sitting on the kitchen table (along with a pile of written thank you notes) because I haven't had a chance or two free hands to address them! Anyway the pictures turned out pretty cute.

She is six weeks old today!! She loves to eat... but never all at once - she likes to draw out feedings for an hour to an hour and a half! She also loves warm baths (she gets that from me) and she loves loves loves the blinds on the window in front of her changing table. Fischer loved his blinds too at this age. She also loves to be held, but not in a Snugli and not in a sling...my next trick will be to attempt to make a Moby wrap. Maybe she'll like that better. She cries more than Fischer ever did, but I think that is because of her reflux and tummy pain - poor baby! She's tried Zantac and Prevacid, but neither have seemed to make much of a difference. She sleeps pretty well at night usually. She'll sleep for 4-6 hours at first and then wake up every two after that.

I do love to cuddle her, especially when she scrunches up her little body and lays her head on my chest or shoulder. I love to feel her tiny breath on my neck or cheek. It is especially cute when she lifts her little bobble head and head butts me! Seriously... awww so sweet. I need to really savor this time, because it will go by so fast... I can get a bit caught up in wanting her to get older to stop some of the crying... but I know I'm really going to miss this cuddly time.

Maddie is pretty silly with her facial expressions - she has us all laughing... and she just started smiling with eye contact - so we feel extra special to receive a big open-eyed gummy smile! Although, she usually saves them all for her daddy! Andy loves to hold her on his lap and make faces at her until she smiles.

Fischer is still loving his baby sister. He loves to talk to her, kiss her, hug her, touch her, sing to her and play peek-a-boo with her. Hopefully soon, she'll smile for him. He is pretty helpful when it comes to Maddison's needs. He is usually quick to run to her when she cries in her bed, or he is johnny-on-the-spot when it comes to binkies and burp cloths.

All and all our family of four is still adjusting, but we are so very blessed to have one another.

TWO weeks

We've survived the first two weeks of postpartum and new baby! Hooray! It was a little rough there in the beginning, but we are settling in nicely now.

When we first arrived home on day 4 my hormones went crazy and I was a weepy mess for a few days. I cried if anyone came over, I cried if anyone left, I cried if I answered the phone and the person on the other end said, "How are you?"... yikes, I was a bit of a mess. Andy was amazing (of course he was), he took care of me, of Maddie, of Fischer, of our house, of the meals and visitors coming each day... everything. He made sure that I was able to sneak in extra naps during the day and was ready with a pep talk at a moments notice... often. I am so thankful that God has given me such an incredible husband and I am so grateful that he is off work for the summer (he is a teacher) and can be here to help.



With the weepiness, I kept thinking that I was just going to stay that way or spiral out of control into a deep depression. Andy kept reminding me that I just feel this way right now, and it doesn't mean anything about the future. I tried to focus on that, and I wanted everyone I talked to to tell me that this was normal and that it would pass.



It passed and I am feeling sooo much better now. I'm still healing from the c-section, but I am much more mobile and a lot less sore. So things are going in the right direction... OH - and a few days ago, I got my ankles back! WAHOO! I can fit into all of my shoes again!



Maddie is doing really well and really GROWING! We went for her 2 week appointment and she weighed 9 lbs, 2 oz already and measured at 21 inches. They said that she was healthy and perfect! Isn't that what every mother wants to hear? She's been out a bit... slept through a few family and friend outings - like the Dinosaur museum, playgroup and the farmer's market.

She has been battling reflux and has to take what appears to be the most disgusting tasting medicine ever - poor baby! She also has a very high pitched gasping sound that she makes quite often. The doctor said it was due to her tiny air passages. It makes it a little unnerving to sleep when you hear her make that sound. We've got her in our room so that we can keep tabs on her.



Fischer is still enjoying her, although he could do without her crying. He went back out to the waiting room at the doctor's office when they were about to prick her heel, so that he wouldn't have to hear her cry.

He takes pride in being able to help her in some way. He knows where all of her things are kept and loves to run grab anything she needs. He has been busy with the commentary on what it is that he thinks she needs at any given time. He also says that his head matches mine and Maddie's matches daddy's. (I'm guessing he means our hair). He also said that Maddie's skin is soft and his and ours is hard. He has a special interest in when her "extension cord" (umbilical cord) is going to fall off. He has also been interested in all of the baby stuff and the fact that it used to all be his... like the swing and the bouncy chair and many of the blankets. He is sharing really well, but seems a bit miffed that he can't sit in the swing or chair anymore.



Andy is tired but has been go-go-going with all that needs to be done around here. He says that new dads get an extra burst of testosterone to keep them going and to take care of their family. He is probably secretly anxious to get back to work!



Thank you for all of the well wishes in the comments and on Facebook, thank you to my friends for all of the delicious dinners and presents, thank you to our families for all of the support and cute girlie gifts, thank you to Ann and Danae for the breast feeding support, thank you to my husband for still being Mr. Wonderful after all of these years, thank you to Fischer for being so flexible, thank you to my hormones for relaxing and letting me be "normal" again and thank you to God for our many blessings.

PS- I'll add some pictures to this post when I find my misplaced camera.

A birth story (not for the faint of heart)

I'm beginning to feel a little anxious about the baby coming. On the one hand, I cannot wait to see her and hold her and to NOT be pregnant anymore.... but on the other hand I'm feeling nervous about the c-section (scheduled for 9 days from today). I know it will all go well, but I can't help feeling a bit of anxiety these days.
The whole labor and delivery HAS to go better than it did with Fischer! I thought I'd recount the events leading to Fischer's birth... I fully realize that Fischer and I may be the only ones interested in this story... and even he won't be till 20 years from now (and even then... probably not).


In fact, do not read on unless you are perfectly OK with TOO MUCH INFORMATION. AND, do not read on if you are pregnant now, especially with your first baby... you don't need these thoughts in your head.

I woke up at 6 am one Sunday morning with "surges" (that's what we called it in the hypnobirthing classes), not contractions. It was still 2 weeks before my due date, so I was sure it was Braxton Hicks or as my mother-in-law called it "practice labor". I went about my day and later went to a home dedication for my mother-in-law who had just moved. All the while feeling surges. As evening came I was busying myself with preparations for school the following day. I was teaching second grade at the time. I spent the evening planning, correcting papers, and thinking about meeting my long-term substitute. She was supposed to be coming in on Monday morning and spending a few days with me and my class so that I could show her the ropes and plan with her for the time that I'd be gone.
Well the surges kept getting more and more painful (although after watching the hypno-birthing videos... you wouldn't think there was ANY pain involved whatsoever - nothing a little sigh or slight grunt couldn't alleviate). So now I'm thinking... um, this could be the real thing. So I start working as quickly as I can to get as much planned and prepped for school the next day. I think I must have packed my bags too. Then I got in the tub to make sure everything was as it should be for the "big show".
Finally, around 1:00 am, I woke Andy and told him it was time to go to the hospital... he had a full on panic attack, so we sat on the couch and held each other until he felt better, and we were off.
At the hospital they checked me and I wasn't even dilated! BUT when they checked me, Fischer's heart rate dropped, so they didn't want me to go back home. They checked us in. So, Andy and I hung out, walked around, and around, and around for hours while I clung to him every few seconds with surges. I tried to go into my hypno exercises, but the pain was really throwing me off! By 9:00 am, they checked me again, and there was NO progression! By this time I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I'd been having contractions for 27 hours already... I lay in the tub in the birthing room and made the decision to give up my natural-birth aspirations and get some help. Andy had gone home to shower. When he returned, they gave me the epidural... hallelujah! What in the world was I doing to myself before? This was heaven. My mom and Danae came, and we all sat around chatting, I watched The Three Amigos (movie options were limited), and then secretly cursed my mom and Andy while they snacked in my room! I snuck a bite. Everytime they checked me I hadn't progressed. So finally they gave me Pitocin to get things moving. Around 4:00 we started the pushing... and pushing... and pushing...(Andy was huddled by my head on one side and my mom was on the other, My dad and mother-in-law were waiting outside the room) ... two and a half hours later, the nurses and midwife could see Fischer's blond hair, but he wasn't budging. So my midwife called in a "forceps specialist". Well he assessed the situation and announced that with one big push from me and one big yank from him, the baby would be out (a considerable amount of repair would be needed for me- but by this point - 36 1/2 hours later - I didn't care one bit).

This is where things got a little fuzzy until months later when my mother filled me in. Next think I knew I was being wheeled off to surgery to have a c-section. Apparently, when the doc went to give his "one big yank" he braced himself by putting his foot up on the bed - which horrified my mother and she whispered to him "this looks like a law-suit waiting to happen"... and there I went in for surgery, just like that - no yanks, no repair work needed.

In the surgery room, they asked Andy if he wanted them to put up a mirror so that he could see, he responded with a definite "Hell No", and the drape went up in front of us both. I don't know how long it all took, one minute Andy was whispering soothing things in my ear and the next, he was showing me out beautiful baby boy.
After that, everything goes pretty fuzzy.

So you see, although the outcome was nothing short of a beautiful healthy bouncing miracle... the labor was WAY TOO LONG.
So this one has got to be better, right?

Mother's Day: The good, the bad and the ugly

The GOOD:

• Saturday night, Andy and Fisch took me out to a fun dinner and gave me this fabulous new video camera!!! This little guy is so portable and easy to use, I'll be posting videos!


• Sunday morning, Fischer and Andy made a delicious french toast breakfast for MamaBetsy and me. Yum!


• Sunday evening, we had a tasty barbecue at MamaBarb's and Grandpa's house. Yum again! Grandpa grilled up some fabulous pork steaks and chicken. Fischer made salad, fruit salad and ice water. Andy made his famous potatoes. Mmmm.
  

The BAD:

• The beautiful watering cans that I bought for MamaBarb, MamaBetsy, and Great-MamaPearl leaked and warped when I filled them with water and flowers the night before. Yikes! Why in the world would someone sell metal watering cans that don't work? Seriously, they must have been just for decoration. I'm going to have to return them this week. So... we had nothing to give our moms and grandma on Sunday! Grr.


• Sophie treed the neighbor's cat when she wandered into our yard. When Andy tried to rescue her, she went up, up, up till she was clinging for dear life to a spindly branch about 20 feet in the air. The poor thing was stuck there for about 6 hours!


• Andy got really sick after dinner, and had to go home before Fisch and I.
  

The UGLY:

• After dinner at my parents' house, Fischer went downstairs to watch sports with Grandpa. Well, Grandpa fell asleep while they were sitting together... and guess what happened?

I am very thankful for my beautiful boy and my wonderful hubby. Thank you for a great Mother's Day!

Pregnancy yuckiness

My list of complaints:

• gaining weight everywhere
• all of my pants falling down
• peeing my pants when I laugh
• waking up multiple times in the night to go to the bathroom
• ankles feet and hands swelling
• peeing my pants when I sneeze
• giant bosom
• my pelvis attempting to split in half when I exercise
• stuffy nose and occasional nose bleeds
• peeing my pants when I cough
• getting tired easily
• moody
• suffering complexion

So, how are you feeling?

Take that Tacoma!

Have you seen this? BFF's mommy sent me this in an email. I've since copied the transcript off of someone else's blog (and she did too) so that you could read it. All I can say is - THANK YOU Carolyn Hax for putting it into words. Usually when someone asks me what I've done today, I say "nothing" which is so very far from the truth, but I feel I can't really explain the importance nor time consuming nature of what I did do.

Tell Me About It by Carolyn Hax
Tucson, Arizona Published: 06.05.2007

● Carolyn:
My best friend has a child. Her: Exhausted, busy, no time for self, no time for me, etc. Me (no kids): Wow. Sorry. What'd you do today? Her: Park, play group . . .
OK. I've done Internet searches; I've talked to parents. I don't get it. What do stay-at-home moms do all day? Please, no lists of library, grocery store, dry cleaners. . . . I do all those things, too, and I don't do them every day. I guess what I'm asking is: What is a typical day, and why don't moms have time for a call or e-mail?
I work and am away from home nine hours a day (plus a few late work events), and I manage to get it all done. I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy — not a bad thing at all — but if so, why won't my friend tell me the truth?
Is this a contest ("My life is so much harder than yours")? What's the deal? I've got friends with and without kids, and all us child-free folks get the same story and have the same questions.
— Tacoma, Wash.

● Tacoma:

Relax and enjoy. You're funny.
Or you're lying about having friends with kids.
Or you're taking them at their word that they actually have kids, because you haven't personally been in the same room with them.
Internet searches?
I keep wavering between giving you a straight answer and giving my forehead some keyboard. To claim you want to understand — while in the same breath implying that the only logical conclusions are that your mom friends are either lying or competing with you — is disingenuous indeed.
So, since it's validation you seem to want, the real answer is what you get. In list form. When you have young kids, your typical day is: constant attention, from getting them out of bed, fed, clean, dressed; to keeping them out of harm's way; to answering their coos, cries and questions; to having two arms and carrying one kid, one set of car keys and supplies for even the quickest trips, including the latest-to-be-declared-essential piece of molded plastic gear; to keeping them from unshelving books at the library; to enforcing rest times; to staying one step ahead of them lest they get too hungry, tired or bored, any one of which produces the kind of checkout-line screaming that gets the checkout line shaking its head.
It's needing 45 minutes to do what takes others 15.
It's constant vigilance, constant touch, constant use of your voice, constant relegation of your needs to the second tier.
It's constant scrutiny and second-guessing from family members and friends, well-meaning and otherwise. It's resisting the constant temptation to seek short-term relief at everyone's long-term expense.
It's doing all this while concurrently teaching virtually everything — language, manners, safety, resourcefulness, discipline, curiosity, creativity, empathy. Everything.
It's also a choice, yes. And a joy. But if you spent all day, every day, with this brand of joy — and then when you got your first 10 minutes to yourself, you wanted to be alone with your thoughts instead of calling a good friend — a good friend wouldn't judge you, complain about you to mutual friends or marvel at how much more productively she uses her time.
Either make a sincere effort to understand, or keep your snit to yourself.

~reprinted without permission

Cheers and Jeers

The goings on of late...

• JEERS: The handy man ended up charging us almost FOUR TIMES his original quote without ever updating us along the way to this fact. AND because his original quote was so low, I didn't make a claim to the insurance... and now it is doubtful we'll get anything back. Grrr.
• CHEERS: Fischer's BFF had a fabulous sledding party that we all loved. Andy took Fisch and BFF down the hill a number of times, each time they flew further and further away! Fischer actually preferred "sledding" on his snow pant butt to using an actual sled, though.
• JEERS: We decided that I had jumped the gun on having Fisch sleep in underwear instead of pull-ups. He is not quite ready for that.
• CHEERS: Fischer has told me today that I am "amazing" a "good mommy" and has called me "Mommy Sweetie Pie". Awwww. Everybody needs a guy like him around!
• JEERS: I have felt nauseous every day this week.
• CHEERS: I haven't gained any weight.
• JEERS: My body has expanded and I look WAY more pregnant that I actually am!
• CHEERS: I have been nicer to the dogs...
• JEERS: Kaia still stinks so bad I could vomit!
• JEERS: I thought there was an intruder in my house today... I panicked a bit and got Fisch and I out.
• CHEERS: It seems to have been my imagination!
• JEERS: I am obviously crazy!
• CHEERS: I'm OK with that!
• CHEERS or maybe JEERS: I've been going to bed between 7:15 and 8:15 almost every night lately!
• CHEERS: I think I'm really back to blogging now. I hope I didn't lose you.

Women Friends

This one had me thinking of you.

Ummm.... What to say?

It is 8:20 in the morning, I'm sitting in my nice warm bed listening to Fischer play and sing in the other room. I am desperately trying to think of some fantastic and interesting thing to blog about. You may have noticed that I've lost my blogging momentum. Andy was home for two weeks over the holidays and we enjoyed being lazy and hanging out as a family. I am off routine and am trying to get back together. Somehow, though, after all of that rest and relaxation, I am feeling uninspired to write.

Hmmm...

I could tell you about a few new philanthropic organizations that have recently caught my interest, but it feels like after a long stint of no blogging, I should write about something more personal.

I could tell you about how Kaia is emitting the most horrific smell on a fairly regularly basis and it makes me want to throw up. I've lost all patience with her and am constantly trying to get her to stop following me around... so now she seems depressed and I feel guilty... But talking about dog gas isn't very classy and why would anyone want to read about it?

I could tell you about how the other night when I was giving Fischer a bath, he said "You have good energy, Mom!" But then you'd probably start wondering about what we talk about at our house... Seriously I don't know where he got that.

If I wrote about that then I would start to get on a roll talking about of all of the Fischisms of late. Such as, before Christmas when we were talking about Christmas being Jesus' birthday, and Fischer wanted to bake Him a birthday cake. I said that'd be a good idea, but then he wanted to TAKE it to Him. I tried to explain that Jesus is in our hearts and if we celebrate His birthday and eat His cake, that will make Him happy. Then, after a really long pause.... he gets this worried look and asks me, "How did Jesus get in my tummy?"

But if I told you all of that then I'd have to tell you about the bumbling answer I gave about God creating us and putting a piece of himself into us and while I was talking I realized that to Fischer this might sound like God put His toe inside of him and an His elbow in me and and his eyeball inside Daddy... which sounded scary and then I just kept talking and talking until I felt that I'd been totally clear and insightful... and he had no comment.

OR I could tell you after this long saga of home repairs the work men should be done today. Hopefully the bill will come close to the original quote.

I could tell you that we are in the final stages of potty training, and Fischer has given up the night time pull-up for underwear at night. Which means we made it through with only having to buy one case. It also means that he wakes up twice a night to go potty...and so do we.

I could make a little announcement about being pregnant. That is kind of an exciting thing to talk about but maybe not as exciting of a thing to read about. Plus maybe you already knew. AND I have had the realization that I may not be able to sleep through the night without interruptions for FOUR more years!

So as you can see, I'm at a loss for words today. So I think I won't write about anything, and I'll just get ready for the day and go pick up BFF for a playdate.

Have a great day!

Happy Birthday Mamma and Mamma

Today is my mother's birthday and Andy's mother's birthday. Yes exact same birthday, exact same age. Fischer calls his Grandmas "Mamma". He loves them like crazy!!! And of course, so do Andy and I.

My mother-in-law is the BEST! Anyone will tell you that I lucked out BIG TIME! She is kind, caring, generous, supportive, respectful and definitely inspirational. After 30+ years as a special education teacher she is launching into a new field of school psychology. She'll have that degree in no time. Happy Birthday Bets! We love you!

My mom is also fabulous, of course. She is warm, compassionate, giving, supportive and loving. She too is embarking on a new path, as a hospital chaplain. My mom has always taken great care of our family and friends and is now spreading that love to hospital patients. I know the hospital feels lucky to have her, just as our family does. It has been an exciting time as she and I are stretching our roles from mother-daughter into good friends. We love you so much, mom! Happy Birthday!

We are proud to tell the world that you are our MOMS!

Patience Lost

Tuesday, as I was trying to sort and fold laundry on my kitchen table, Fischer wanted to "help". He was climbing on and off the chair with an armful of small toys that kept making him slip. The toys were getting in the way of my folded piles as Fischer was quickly pulling item after item out of the basket. So, I tossed the toys across the room onto the couch in frustration. They were in my way. Suddenly, Fischer bursts into tears. "I didn't want you to throw my toys.." sob, then he stops abruptly and very seriously looks at me and says

"Mom, I need you to be patient with my toys."

Ummm. He pretty much put me in my place. All I could do was take a deep breath to calm the frustrations, and pick up his toys. We found a better place for them to wait while he was actually really helpful sorting socks.
Why is it so easy to fly off the handle? To snap at a loves one, get frustrated with a child, or yell at the dog? I really felt like God was speaking to me through Fischer just then. I believe he was telling me to cool it, step back and make a better choice. Breathe! In that one sentence, I felt I was being reminded to exercise great patience and to approach my ridiculous frustrations in another way. When I told Andy about the incident he said, "Remember, he is an old soul and that will come through more and more the older he gets. That is why it will be a challenge and privilege to raise him."
A 'privilege'? I had forgotten.

No More Binky = No More Baby

The binky is gone. I took all of the suggestions I received (and a few of my own ideas) for getting rid of the binky and listed them off to Fischer. I told him that since he was going to have to get rid of the binky sometime, we should think of a good way. You should have seen his horrified little face as I read off the ideas! I let him choose the best idea. He decided that he wanted to put the binky in an envelope and send it to baby Hadleigh.I told him that whenever he was ready to do that, we would put it in the mail box and then we'd go to the toy store. He could pick out any toy he wanted.

So we talked about it a few times, told Daddy about it, and within a few days... he told me he was ready (he happened to have met Baby Hadleigh for the first time earlier that day). We put the binky in an envelope, he put it in the mailbox, and we headed to the toy store.

I wanted to make sure that whatever toy he chose would be so fantastic that he wouldn't want to trade it back at bedtime. I was prepared to buy ANYTHING in the store (and figure it out later). We walked up and down every aisle while I pointed out all of the "greatest" toys. He kept asking "Where do they keep the garbage trucks?" We found them, there were only a few little cheapie ones, nothing screamed "World's Most Fabulous Toy". He grabbed a $5 dollar truck and carried it around while I pointed out "bigger" and "better" toys. In the end a car carrier caught his eye and we left only spending $10!! Anyway he loves it and was really excited to play with it.When bedtime came, he asked for his binky, and I reminded him that he is a big boy now and doesn't need it anymore. However he could not fall asleep for anything. After a million tries and one tired mommy, he ended up sleeping in our room and slept all night. That was last night.

Tonight after a 20 minute protest and me in and out of his room, it is finally quiet and I think he has fallen asleep!

I'm really proud of him! He has slept with a binky his whole life (approximately 922 days), and here... two days without and he has put himself to sleep! (I hope I'm not jinxing myself by talking about it!!!)

----------Let's have a moment of silence for another milestone passed.----------

Thank you all for your suggestions and support! Now, is it weird that I'm kind of sad? No more bottles, no more crib, no more diapers, no more binky... Oh my... my baby is growing up WAY too fast! I've just been helping him race along into practically adulthood. What have I done?

Run run as fast as you can...

Last weekend Fisch ran his second 1k. The first was last year (when he was one) and was nothing short of hilarious, as he and his buddies did everything BUT run and probably finished the race a good half hour after the rest of the pack!

This year went much better.

He did his pre-run stretches (I know, I know, pre-run stretches are controversial).
He ran with his friends, but mostly with Daddy and MamaBetsy while I took pics of everybody. He did some running, some walking, some hanging between their hands, some riding on daddy's hip, but he kept moving......well of course, he did have to stop to check out an interesting storm drain (but who wouldn't?).

Twelve minutes and seventeen seconds later... he finished!!!

He received his finisher's medal which was in the form of a stuffed rhinoceros. Fisch and his running partners posed for the fans. (Ummm, totally impossible to get a pic with all 5 of them looking and smiling in the same direction!)

Afterward, he worked on his post-run refueling, very important.

Mommy is so proud!

Momma's Boy

After reading yesterday's post, Liz thought I might like this video - so funny! Little does she know that if you ask Fischer where he is getting a tattoo when he is 18 he'll tell you on his butt. If you ask him what it will say he'll point to one butt cheek and say "Mommy" then point to the other and say "Daddy"! Seriously folks. (Thanks for the tattoo inspiration Aunt Bekah!)

Oh, and I've been kicking myself for not picking up the toddler briefs with the heart mom tattoos all over them. I saw them last year - hilarious!!!!!

Ha!!! I'd be proud to have a Momma's Boy!!!

(By the way, I DON'T want him getting a tattoo when he is 18 - unless it is the description above - because then that is just funny!!! I'd be making him drop his pants for everyone! LOL)

Boy Moms: Celebrate

Ahhh, being a mom to a boy is a unique experience (not that I know what it would be like to be a mom to a girl). We get to experience things that girl moms don't, and we miss out on things that girl moms get to experience.

In celebration of boy moms, I'd like to offer up a few fun sites:

• Linda Marie Ford's It's good to be the Queen (where mom's of boys reign) is a fun site for all things boy! It is like a support group and party for boy moms. So great. In fact, in a few states they have started actual clubs and chapters from this site. What fun!!
• Amy's Boy Mom Designs is an online t-shirt store with shirts designed for, you guessed it, boy moms! I love them! They have slogans like "we fight bad guys" and "boy moms rock".
• Cafe' Press also has some fun mom of boy designs.
• Of course we've all probably seen the Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn Iggulden and Hal Iggulden, but have you seen the The Big Book of Boy Stuff by Bart King and Chris Sabatino? Both books are bursting at the binding with information, ideas and activities to keep any adolescent boy busy doing boy stuff (which by the way some of the activities in both books are a little much for this mom of a 2 year-old, so I hope I can loosen up before he turns 8 and starts wanting to do experiments in my kitchen, and list off all of the names for flatulence, and tie strings to flies, and make rockets and... you get the point).
• For more camaraderie from other moms of boys check out MOBS Lounge and Moms of Boys Internet meeting place.

Cold blooded squirter?

Let's talk about guns for a moment. I thought that I had decided that toy guns were bad and I didn't want Fischer around them. I really don't want him to watch any show where people are shooting each other. Up until recently it had never came up. Of course, he is only two! At the beginning of the summer someone gave him a tiny squirt gun... I didn't quite know what to do or say... so I said nothing. Fischer didn't know what it was, he thought it was a tiny red boot! Well then as the summer has progressed more and more squirt guns are showing up. Grandma has a bucket of squirt guns and toys that she likes to take to the pool. Fischer's cousin loves to play with them and now so does Fisch. I know that he still doesn't really know what a gun is and I know that it makes me uncomfortable to "play guns" with them.... but I'm not sure if I am just overreacting. In Denver, the kids LOVED playing squirt guns and squirting each other and everything else. The bigger boys also made guns out of tinker toys, and Fisch loved playing with those too.

When I spoke to Andy about it, he didn't seem to have any problem with squirt guns. So I said, "well, we'll just teach him not to squirt at anyone". He did not see the fun in that. And my dad agreed with Andy. Hmph.

I can't make all of the rules and I am sticking to no other toy guns... but what about marshmallow shooters? Fischer was at a party at his grandparents house and one of the guests brought these really fun marshmallow guns for the little ones to play with. Before becoming a mom, I even had a marshmallow shooter that I played with with my students once (gasp)!!

We don't actually own any toy guns, except that tiny squirt gun, that is probably lost, and Fischer doesn't ask about them... but I have found him holding sticks like guns (although not making shooting noises - so I don't know if it is my imagination). The bottom line is that I do not want Fisch to be a killer nor do I want him to think light of killing.

I grew up with squirt guns and my brother had toy guns, and neither of us have killed anyone (although, my bro does like to shoot targets and possibly rabbits now as an adult).

What do you think? Am I overreacting, or am I completely valid? Do you think you can play with squirt guns and not have other toy guns and be good - or is it all or nothing? I have a friend who made the rule that you can't shoot water guns at the face... well that seemed odd as the kids were shooting at the heart!

Please help me get some perspective on this topic.

Inspiration on Sunday

Me, my mom, her mom, her mom's mom, her mom's mom's mom, her mom's mom's mom's mom.

Moms and people who have moms, all need to be reminded about moms once in awhile. I received this as an email and deleted it before I really appreciated its meaning. I found it again, over here.

Perspective: The Invisible Woman

It started to happen gradually¦ One day I was walking my son Jake to school. I was holding his hand and we were about to cross the street when the crossing guard said to him, “Who is that with you, young fella?”“Nobody,” he shrugged. Nobody? The crossing guard and I laughed. My son is only 5, but as we crossed the street I thought, “Oh my goodness, nobody?”

I would walk into a room and no one would notice. I would say something to my family - like “Turn the TV down, please” - and nothing would happen. Nobody would get up, or even make a move for the remote. I would stand there for a minute, and then I would say again, a little louder,“Would someone turn the TV down?” Nothing. Just the other night my husband and I were out at a party. We’d been there for about three hours and I was ready to leave. I noticed he was talking to a friend from work. So I walked over, and when there was a break in the conversation, I whispered, “I’m ready to go when you are.” He just kept right on talking. I’m invisible.

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, “Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” Obviously not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I’m invisible.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, “What time is it?” I’m a satellite guide to answer, “What number is the Disney Channel?” I’m a car to order, “Right around 5:30, please.” I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.
She’s going¸ she’s going¸ she’s gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip,and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, “I brought you this.”

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it”. And the workman replied, “Because God sees.” I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, “My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.” That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, “You’re gonna love it there.”

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Update: I just found this story in a beautiful hardcover book: The Invisible Woman by Nicole Johnson, a lovely gift idea.

Mommy Needs a Cocktail Party

Last night's Mommy Needs a Cocktail Party was so much fun! Thank you to everyone who came and for all of the fabulous food and drinks!!! It was fun to actually finish a conversation (rather than run off to chase a little one in the middle of it!). I definitely want to do it again... soon!

There is an actual blog and party company called Mommy Needs a Cocktail along with shirts over at Baby Brewing, if you feel like planning one for your mommy friends.