Why did I ask?

Me: "Fischer, do you think I'm beautiful?"

Fischer: "When you are wearing earrings, you look beautiful."

Me: "What's the most beautiful thing about me?"

Fischer: "Your earrings. You really should've worn earring's today."

Seriously! Why would I ask such a loaded question?????

Self Esteem Winners!!!!

Thank you for participating in the discussion on self-esteem. Dove has given me some fun gifts for the winners:

Karrie from Trailer Life and Jen from Memoirs of Mommy have won a "You're Beautiful, pass it on" t-shirt.
Jenny from When No One Else is Watching has won the book "Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters" by Courtney E. Martin.

Congratulations and thank you ladies for your comments and posts!!!

Self Esteem... Pass it On

(Reward at the bottom of the post)

Self esteem. What does that phrase mean to you? For me, I think of all that encompasses me and how I feel about me. There are definitely things about myself that I am proud of or content with, my appearance is not one of them... specifically my weight. I have major issues with my body that do affect my life and my activities.

I've started wondering how these issues and feelings about myself are going to affect my daughter (when she arrives). What will she learn from looking at me and listening to me? Will she learn to nit pick her every imperfection? Will she learn to say mean things to herself? Will she learn that her appearance makes a difference in what she can do and accomplish? Will she learn that her appearance is of the utmost importance over all of her other qualities? Man, I sure hope not. Of course I won't come right out and teach her these things, but will she derive these "lessons" from my actions?

Now is the time for me to raise my own self-esteem and get myself in check. I want to empower my daughter to be and do anything she wants to. I want her to see beauty in all things and all people including herself. I want healthy habits to be a part of life, not just something you do to "fix" a problem.

What if I do a good job with all of that teaching and empowering, and then she goes to school and gets another message from her peers... or from the media... or a relative... or the list goes on. How will I talk to her? Will she believe me when I say she is beautiful? Or will she think that I am just her mom and I have to say those things?

We all know that low self-esteem affects so much more than what you say to yourself in the mirror. It affects schoolwork, it affects the types of friends you choose or put up with, it affects the risks you take (good and bad), it affects your self worth which in turns gives yourself permission to do certain things... things a mother doesn't want to imagine.

What can I do to help my daughter cope with adolescence and the pressures she'll experience everyday?

The Dove campaign for Real Beauty has recently launched a new initiative called "Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, commissioned by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund ".

"Too many girls and young women develop low self-esteem from hang-ups about
looks and consequently fail to reach their full potential in later life. The
Dove Self-Esteem Fund (DSEF) was established as an agent of change to inspire
and educate girls and young women about a wider definition of beauty. The
DSEF is committed to help girls build positive self-esteem and a healthy body
image, with a goal of reaching 5 million girls globally by 2010. It has
already reached 2 million young women."

They are targeting girls ages 8-17 and their mothers to help build/repair/maintain self esteem. The exciting thing is that they provide FREE materials for mothers and daughters to begin talking and working on self -esteem. They have a mother's guide and a mother/daughter activity guide to help you facilitate conversations and about beauty, body, pressures, self-esteem, and self confidence. The guides have questions and activities to help us build an open-relationship with our daughters and to remind us how our own self-esteem and hang-ups affect our girls.

"A mom is one of the most important influences in the life of a daughter. Whether you are a step mom, an auntie, a grandmother, a big sister or just a loving friend, the role of a ‘mother’ is important and necessary in a girl’s development.
Your love and care sets the foundations for your daughter’s life. Who you are will profoundly affect who she is and who she will be. How you feel about yourself, your looks, your body, your beauty, acts like a script from which your daughter will make choices about how she should feel about herself. In order to give your daughter the strength and courage she needs to feel beautiful in a world that may challenge her values, you need to take inventory of your own feelings of beauty."
-Dr. Susie Orbach and Dr. Nancy Etcoff (Dove's Academic Advisors)

(My mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and great-great-grandmother )

I read through the materials and found them to be informative, thought-provoking and interesting. They also provide an entire FREE workshop kit with DVD/CD to teach you how to run a self-esteem workshop in your area. Dove is also on the road providing workshops in many different states, you can check their map and schedule to see if there will be one in your area soon.

Self-esteem is an important issue, and I am very thankful to Dove for their initiative and for providing FREE tools to all of us. Click on any of the green links above to read more about the campaign, the National Report, and the booklets and activity guides (under self-esteem tools). You can also find short videos and other resources for you, your daughter, or your workshop.

We can support Dove and their Real Beauty and Real Girls Real Pressures programs by buying Dove products and by helping them to spread the word. In an effort to do my part. I'm offering up a small challenge and reward. Please post about self-esteem on your blog and reference Dove's FREE Self-Esteem tools, then come back here and leave a link to your post in the comments of this post. If you do not have a blog, then just leave a comment here about your thoughts on the subject of beauty and self-esteem. I will award 2 winners (chosen at random) and will send you a gift from Dove. Leave your comment or post link by midnight March 29th. Thank you in advance for your support.

Super Fabulous Day for ME

I'm off to bed... early... but not before I tell you a tiny bit about my super fabulous day alone...

First BFF and her amazing Mommy came to pick up Fischer and take him to playgroup and keep him all day long to play. Then I scooted off to have the most wonderful massage. It was an hour of heaven... and I hope that all of that rubbing and lotioning will make it so my arms do not go numb tonight, as they have been for the past few weeks. If that is the case... then I might just be in love with the girl who gave me my massage.
Next I took in another hour of pampering as I received a very fine pedicure with more massaging of my legs and feet. I came away with pretty toes... it had been awhile!
Then I lounged for a while at a favorite little cafe and had my favorite lunch and a very delicious big cookie!
Next... oh yes, there is more... I spent the next two and half hours getting my hair cut and highlighted while chatting with my friend who is a very talented stylist. So of course, I look fabulous! OH, and she waxed and dyed my eyebrows... that was new for me... I can't say that part was particularly fabulous, but the outcome was nice.
And finally I picked up my happy tired little boy from his day o' play and headed home to my loving husband for some tasty pancakes.
I am so very grateful and so very blessed. Seriously... BEST DAY... I never do things like this, it had been a year since I last got my haircut and ten months since my last pedicure and I've NEVER had a massage (except that one weird time but that was a strange and humiliating experience years ago). Sooo, I feel sooo good! Thanks to my Mom and Andy and to BFF's Mommy for making my fabulous day possible! Now, to do it all again in another 31 years...
Thanks for letting me brag... ;) And no, it wasn't even my birthday... it was no special day at all... which made it that much more special!

Pit Putty

I've been testing out an organic deodorant the past few weeks. The name is not very feminine, Pit Putty, but the results have been great. I've asked numerous people on hot sweaty days and after running, if I stink... and they've said no. Because they might be lying, I've done a number of sniffs under my arms (geez this is a gross topic) and I haven't detected an odor!

Pit Putty is made by Bubble & Bee Organic. it uses only certified organic ingredients, no chemicals, no animal testing, and the company is environmentally friendly.

Sheila bought the spray, and has been really happy with her results. The spray is also good for stinky sandal feet!

Bubble and Bee Organic has all kinds of organic personal care products. If you are interested you may want to poke around their site and learn more about the reasons that we don't want chemicals in our beauty products. I'd never really thought about it before.

Oh... one more thing... they completely guarantee their products (or at least the deodorant for sure) there really isn't any risk in trying them out. They are better for your body and your skin. I have pretty sensitive skin and haven't suffered any reactions from the Pit Putty. I think I'm ready to try their soaps and lotions too.