Fischisms

Isn't it funny/annoying how everyone thinks that everything that comes out of their child's mouth is so incredibly hilarious... Of course, it really is hilarious with Fischer ;)

• After watching mommy drop a bottle of grape juice on the floor and seeing it splatter all over the refrigerator, the tile, the wood, the walls, the pantry...

Fischer: "Good job, Mommy. Good job spilling the grape juice."

Is my baby demonstrating his first bit of sarcasm, or did he really think I did an exceptionally good job at spilling the juice?

• Mommy opens the door to Fischer's bedroom, after his time out for not listening (he had been screaming and crying during the entire time out).

Mommy: "Are you ready to listen?"

Fischer: Looooong pause....... "Umm, I don't think so."

Mommy closes the door.

• After looking at a wedding photo of Mommy and Daddy...

Fischer: "Mommy do you wish you were a pretty girl like that (points to picture)?"

• Overheard: Daddy and Fischer looking at a pile of stones. Fischer is asking what they are called... Daddy is listing them off one by one:

Daddy: "Rose quartz, turquoise, pyrite, tiger's eye, hematite, spotty, stripey, brainy..."

• Looking at Mommy fluff the pillows on the couch...

Fischer: "Mommy, what are you doing to our crap?"

Mommy: "This is not crap, this is our couch!"

Fischer: "No, THESE are crap (pointing to the couch pillows)!"

Mommy: "Those are pillows"

Fischer: "They are crap."

Mommy: "They are pillows!" Fischer: "They are crap". Mommy...Fischer...Mommy... Fischer...

Mommy: "Crap is not a very nice word to say. Even though Mommy and Daddy say it sometimes (mostly Mommy), it is not good for little kids to say it."

• Looking out the front window at the neighbor woman getting her mail...

Fischer: "I wish I had long hair like that!"

• While Mommy is baking, Fischer gets on the counter where all of the ingredients are sitting. he starts touching things, and other things start falling off the counter...

Mommy: "Fischer stop touching things or Mommy's going to go CRAZY!!!!"

Fischer: "You sound like Aunt Sheila!"

• Said to Mommy, way to many times lately, after she asks Fischer about something:

Fischer: "Mommy, don't worry about it!"